Friday, June 01, 2012

Capris: Please, Just Say NO!

It's that time of year: the time when many otherwise chic, sensible and even elegant women feel the heat and decide to wear that which is lovely on almost no one! I speak of course of cropped pants and/or capris.  I've had a longstanding animosity for what was known in the 'fifties as "pedalpushers" probably because I was so skinny in grade school that my mother would not let me wear shorts, but instead put me in cropped pants.  They usually just covered my kneecap in a very awkward way and sometimes made sitting and other movement problematic because they were binding there - that is, until I had worn them for several hours and they had stretched out or ripped and were even more unsightly.
  I am (just last week) 61 years old, and well aware of the changes time has wrought: no more shorts for me outside of my house and the beach. Cropped pants would seem to be a good alternative to the hot summers here; they would cover my upper legs and yet be cooler than long pants.  I understand why women want to wear them.
  But if you look at the evidence, better to suffer the heat or put on a simple short dress than wear one of the most unbecoming garments ever constructed.
  Above, a young, very pretty, very thin model wears cropped pants and looks, well, okay. Now if you were going to say that she looks fabulous (which she does in face and body), stop and really think about what she is wearing.  Yes, she has long legs and thin ankles - a must for wearing cropped pants.  But look at how disproportionately wide her hips appear in these pants! She would look much sexier wearing shorts or long pants.
Above, three chic women who don't look all that chic thanks to the crops.  Cameron Diaz looks ready for the office from the waist up, and ready for the gym shower room from the waist down.
  I adore Gwenyth Paltrow but I have never, ever seen her look worse! If she looks like this, just think how you will look with that 20+ extra pounds you've put on in the last few years.
  Who is thinner than Victoria Beckham with her invisible hips?  Still, not a good look for her either.
Perhaps one of the worst aspects of cropped pants is that they are heavily advertised to, well, heavier women.  The result is not pretty or chic. And if you are dressing to look slimmer, my first tip is to avoid cropped pants.
  Above, she needs balance for those hips, even though she has worn high heels and does have good looking ankles.
Below, if you are an apple, stay wwwwwwwwway away from cropped pants.

These casual cropped cargoes are good if you are on an archeological dig; otherwise, just say no!
Above, these cropped pants stop at the worst possible point on this plus model's heavier legs; she's compounded the squat look by wearing flats with crossed straps that hit right at what should be the thinnest part of the ankles. Yes, this is a fashion problem. Imagine how much better she would look with long pants and even a low heeled pump.
Above, while a bit longer, these crops are wide at the bottom so that they will soon wrinkle and flare out above these flat thongs.
  Cropped pants are not always terrible. If you look below, you see some cropped pants that actually look chic, but note that they are really what some would call "ankle" pants rather than cropped.  The pants stop at the smallest part of the ankle - good if you have pretty ankles and wear the right shoes.
The right shoes are usually heels although not always. Below, since these pants are longer and the model is very thin and tall, she can go for flats. Notice though that while her sandals have crossed straps, they are well below the small of the ankle.
Photobucket Photobucket
Above, yes, it's one of the Olsen girls; keep her in mind the next time you decide to try on cropped pants if you are under 5'6" and weigh over 130 pounds.
  I realize that some of you may think I'm harsh, but remember, I'm talking about what looks good on a woman over 50, and what will look chic.  I have sweats I like to wear (and often do), but I don't try to accessorize them and think I will look elegant.
  Do you have a picture of yourself in cropped pants that you think looks great? I'd love to see you!  Please share!


Marianne said...

You are right,these are just ugly. They are really awful on those who are overweight. Want to see really bad examples of crops on women - just go to Walmart any day or night of the week!

Anonymous said...

Yuk! Calling everyone who is fat, old, and trashy.

Andrea said...

its tempting to wear these but you are right about how unattractive they are on everybody. i live where it gets really hot and i've just decided that i'll wear shorts instead because i won't look any worse