Best Dressed? Sorry Elle, Not If You're Over 50!

I adore fashion magazines. Always have, probably always will, although I no longer pore over them endlessly the way that I did in the 1970's when I had no money at all to buy clothes or accessories or even the way I thumbed through them over and over in the 1980's when I lived in a too-small town for the clothes I really would have liked to wear.

But now that I am, ahem, over 50, (really I'm over 60), I am constantly amazed at what is considered to be "well-dressed."

I really got tickled when I was looking at my Elle magazine and saw this best dressed list that follows. 

Needless to say, I vehemently disagree, but especially if you are over 50, you need to avoid these looks like the plague.

As usual, I will tell you exactly what is wrong with each one!

Above, okay, Dakota Fanning is cute and this is a really young look.  I don't find it becoming to her though for several reasons. 

1.  Look at where the skirt stops at a most unbecoming place on her legs causing them to look stumpy instead of curvy. 
2. Then the dress looks particularly shapeless; even though it seems to have a drawstring, it hangs completely straight.  
3. This color does nothing for her either. The shoes are okay, but I don't find them flattering either. 

If you are over 50, this look is the kiss of death.  Why?  

• Are your arms completely muscular and toned?  With this sleeveless dress they will need to be.  
• If you are over 50, this length will look "old-lady" on you unless it happens to be your "g-spot" length (what I call the skirt length that hits at the most flattering place on your legs).

Only if you are a bit curvy and you pull that drawstring to show off your waist will this look the least bit okay on you. 

Gwen Stefani made Elle's best dressed also.  You won't if you are over 50 (personally I don't see how Gwen made it either).

1. If you are over 50 avoid wearing a jacket that:

• has too many zippers
• has too many additional details such as the large flaps near the hem
• is super bright neon orange

You may be able to get away with one of these, but all 3, forget it!

1. The boyfriend jeans with their loose fit will look like "mom" jeans, dowdy and unbecoming because they will likely add an extra 5 to 10 pounds to your lower half.
2. Don't wear t-shirts with lettering unless you are playing a team sport or coaching one.

 Above, there is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to begin. 

1. Remember Ralph on Green Acres? Then you are too old to ever wear over-alls unless you are repairing something.
2. Stripes are good; spaghetti straps and cut-out sleeveless tops are not.
3. Leather baseball cap? Just say no.
4. They may look cute on Miley, but if you're over 50, be careful about wearing gold shoes with casual wear.

Alessandro Ambrossio got it right.   Everything works here.  
If you're over 50? 
   Easy.  
Let the hem down, and unless you are extremely graceful and have never taken a fall in your life, get shorter heels. Otherwise, perfection. 
   Oh, but avoid the long single braid.

It's Summer! Do's and Don't's If You Are Over 50!

1. DON'T wear panthose. Now I love pantyhose and hate the bare leg look when it's the least bit cold. But in the summer, pantyhose don't just look hot, they look sweltering!

2. Do: Use a spray tan just on your legs, a light-colored spray tan if you don't use it on your arms or the rest of your body. Otherwise, use leg make-up. I know, sounds awful, but it looks great, actually much nicer than most spray tans! Sally Hansen makes a great one that you can get at the drugstore.

3. DON'T have arm swing. If you like your arms, you can show them off.  But be realistic; are they really toned and smooth? Did you look at your arms from behind, too?

4. DON"T go as short as you can!  Save the mini-skirts for winter when you can wear opaque tights with them.  With bare legs, the mini on someone over 50 just looks wrong... sometimes almost naked, even if your legs are beautiful.

So many things wrong here! 

5. DON'T pile on the bronzer. Be judicious and use a lighter color bronze than you may think you should use.  You don't want to look like a terracotta pot.  What you want is a glow.

Everyone has seen her, but are you sporting the same look with makeup?

6. DON'T go more than one shade darker with your summer foundation. Again, you want a bit of color, but you don't want to sweat brown or have streaks on your face.  Add most of your color with powder.

7. DO: Change your colors.  Try pinks and corals and lighten up on the red.  This not only goes for your lipstick and blush, but also for finger and toe-nails.  Pinks are especially flattering to older skin.  Dark red polish will age your hands and feet.

8. DO: Wear a sunscreen.  All the time, and all over, not just on your face.

9. DO wear underwear the same color as your skin, especially if you are wearing a lot of white.  People who have to look at you from behind will thank you.  By the way, this tip is good for any age, not just those over 50.

10. DON'T wear short-shorts.  Do I even have to mention this? Good.